social influence
Everyone has preferences – the things we like and dislike – but how do we know that we really like them? You are probably thinking, “what do you mean? I know what I like and dislike.” However, according to social psychology – the study of how we think in social groups – we are products of our environment. Social psychology reveals (shows us) that we are influenced (affected) by many factors (things) around us; advertising, entertainment, celebrities, education, religion, culture, family, friends, the news, and social media.
Our like and dislikes are not necessarily natural likes and dislikes. Moreover, they are things that we have habitually (like a habit) come to like and dislike. Smells, tastes, likes and dislikes are not innate – they are not natural feelings that we are born with – they are learned things. Even closer to the truth, they are things we come to like and dislike because of the influences and circumstances around us.
When a person claims (says) that she or he likes or dislikes something, it is probably due to (because of) experiences, environment and/or up-bringing. Whether you like hot showers or cold showers may depend of the climate of the country you live in. Similarly with sweet, salty, bitter, sour or spicy food. For example, a child may taste something bitter and say that she or he dislikes it – because of a preference to sweet foods – yet, when older, the child may change this opinion when surrounded by other adults who often eat bitter foods. Likes and dislikes – tastes and preferences – can change depending on life experiences and our ability, or lack of, to experiment without prejudice, new things.
When I were in my early teens, I shamefully admit, my preference of music was mostly what the general population of teens were exposed to – pop-music. At the time I thought it was great and this preference only began to vary (change) as I began to surround myself with different people. Gradually, as I began to go out on the weekends to bars and clubs, my preferences started to change because pop-music was not being played in the bars and clubs. Then, after being taken to an underground nightclub in London by some new friends, I found a love for underground house music. It was a genre of music that was not played on the radio, nor was it sold in the usual high-street music shops. The music was found in small unique record shops scattered (spread) around London. My new found love became my passion and I began to go out around London more to experience more of this music. The new love caused me to detach (distance) myself from the school friends of my area and gravitate (move towards) to diverse people in and around the London scene. It was as if I had been eating bland (tasteless) food all my life and then finally discovered (found) herbs and spices. I never went back to pop-music.
Growing up in England, breakfast was usually a bowl of cereals, some toast, and cup of tea and biscuits. I grew up on a sugary start to the day (breakfast). When I moved to Italy, the sweet breakfast was still available to me as wells as some savoury (salty) options that mostly included some kind of bread. However, once I moved to Asia, sweet breakfasts were a thing of the past. Days often began with rice, meat and vegetables with spices and chillies. Something that most people from England or much of Europe would turn their nose up at (reject). However, this is simply programming of habit.
In Europe there also exists savoury breakfasts such as the continental breakfast with cheese and ham, or the English “fry-up’ breakfast is a perfect example – a cooked breakfast with eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, beans, etc. It is a breakfast that many British would happily eat, yet, other nationalities would struggle because everything is fried and oily – a heavy breakfast.
In England, football is the most popular sport and growing up in the country, one cannot avoid it, even if one does not take great pleasure in it. As a very young boy, I vaguely (not well) recall my father taking me to watch a football match and, as my father would remind me, I did not like it. As few years on, a family friend took me to see a match and it was appreciated a little more. Though I am not sure if this was because of being familiar, being older, or being polite to the family friend. By the time I was in my teens, I thoroughly enjoyed it – or did I? At the time the atmosphere was overwhelming and exciting. However, when I left the country to live abroad and no longer had the influences and social pressures of the sport, I found myself slowly losing interest in the sport. I still attended some games when living in Italy but looking back, it was more about going along in order to connect with the people around me at the time. And looking back at my teen days when I use to go to the stadium, it was probably more about being able to spend time with my Dad, seeing as I did not live with him and only saw him about once a month. Now, as an adult and living abroad without the social influence of football, I can honestly say that I have no interest in football.
As a young person growing up with my mother and step-dad, I took a disliking towards indie music, simply because that was the music which my step-dad liked and I felt him and I were different. I did not want to be the same as him, therefore to reaffirm (confirm / show) my difference, I disliked the music that he liked. This lasted into my late teens, and only changed because of a friend, who’s opinion and taste I trusted, and I found myself liking indie-rock music – just not the groups or bands that my step-dad listened to. Is was not so difficult to find different bands since we are a couple of decades apart.
Now, when I look back at many of the music genres I listened to, I can see how they were all introductions by new people in my life. One could argue that, “sure, new people introduce you to new things, which you liked the sound of and it became a preference.” But is it that? Of course, my life took me down certain roads which resonated with (appealed to) me; or was it just me finding myself in new environments, accepting and going with the flow? Or, more than likely, I had an admiration or liking towards certain people at certain times, and in order to spend time with those people it was necessary to have an interest in the things they were interested in – or at listen and tolerate their music. It has happened with all the people I have come close to.
In my youth, I was never a person who was into hip-hop, reggae or drum and bass music. However, because of a long, serious relationship with someone who did listen to such music, I found myself taking a liking towards them. I never adopted them as a preference; just accepted because of her love for the music. Similarly, she was never much into the music I was into at the time, yet she adopted the music. An interesting thing, since being out of the relationship, my preference started leaning more towards the music she would often play. Out of genuine preference or sentimental reasons, I am not sure – potentially both.
I say both because much of what happens in life can be referred to as – a doubled-edged sword, or the door swings both ways. Even though our preferences are dependant on experience, I do feel that there is an element of experience that is conjured by something innate within us – whether personality or destiny, or some other.
The questions is, how reliable and genuine are our preferences? A difficult question to answer that would require a lot of introspective, retrospective, self-analysis, which most people cannot be bothered with. However, I feel the answer is quite simple: Ultimately, the preference does no matter, it is the experience that the preference brings to us that is important, and some will bring greater experience than others.
Much of the manufactured influences are designed to limit ones overall life experience, offering an experience to cater for the mundane restricted lives we live. Things such as mainstream music, blockbuster films, video games, fashion and trends are all manufactured influences and preference to shape and mould people into being mundane, and being consumers of things.
There are greater, more colourful, more fulfilling, and richer experiences to have beyond the manufactured influences and it is only by stepping out of the world of one influence and into the world of another that we can experience more.
We are all looking for acceptance in society because we feel so disconnected. And yet, we strive (keep trying) to be different by following new trends that many other people follow. All the time, being untrue to our real self. Following trends, having a certain ‘look’, or copying an idol, we attempt to find a new us by changing what we see on the outside. However, nothing changes on the inside. This is why we need, real experiences from diverse (different) influences. It is only when we confront the opposite of our preferences that we understand and appreciate what we truly like.
